Escape

I evade reality. because I cant handle the truth. The cruel facts that i just cant make it. For a few short hours during the weekend, I was able to escape again, by crossing the waters. But even so, some things cross the water with you. And now I am back, hearing 'your concept is all wrong' day after day. Watching myself self-destruct.

Its the tragicomedy of the cap that could have been saved and wasnt..

The fates have conspired to put me in this forsaken group, where no one gives a damn. It as if its a test from up above, to see if i would rise to the occasion. and twice, i have failed. One more chance left, I will take it. and crush those who stand in my way.

that is why i escape. into the virtual worlds, where problems are solved with a rocket launcher. or a trusty switchblade. if u dont like someone, u can show it easily. stab stab, shoot, jump, taunt. type in caps and piss them off. problem solved.

in the real world, diplomacy, tact. how can i ever get drawn into a confrontation. neither quick with my head or feet. theres no way i could win.

now like the garganta in hueco mundo, my fate is sealed. very nearly. i will grasp at the thin straws of hope, till they are blown away or burst asunder in my hands.