today i really feel pathetic.. for the first time i wind up watching a movie alone. and paying for two persons even. the show was good, dont get me wrong, but i wouldnt have wanted to watch it by myself in the cinema. you dont know how much i was looking forward to it. my work may be hectic and tiring but i didnt care because i thought we could enjoy the evening together. at least now i know u certainly werent looking fwd to it at all, even though it was a movie tt u wanted to watch. my heart feels heavy. why do you do this to me? i feel justified for not making u go. i may feel bad now but i guess i will feel even worse if i made u go when u didnt want to.
how can something feel so right and yet so wrong i wonder. when i am with you, everything feels like it was meant to be. for me at least. but yet there are also so many things that could go wrong, it may be a relief for it to end. my bb, my mom, your stubborness.. sigh. i wonder if you even like me at all, or are just being nice/grateful because i am nice to you.
sometimes things just go bad. you cant always have what you want
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