Incapacitated

My leg pain has worsened in recent days, so much so that I am almost unable to walk more than 50m. After 50m, the pain is so bad I have to walk using a combination of a limp or a shuffle, and walking from point A to point B to get to work has become a torture.

My walking speed is reduced to less than 20%, and sometimes I have to stop to take a breather. Now I have become a straggler among the horde that emerges from the MRT carriages at my stop. Some will give me curious glances, but most just ignore me, still in their own world. I have never been offered a seat on the train too, though probably because it is not obvious that I am in pain.

Through this I have come to appreciate more the benefits of mobility. I look at those who can walk properly with envy and also wonder if I can ever walk normally again. I dream of becoming more active if I recover, and if I cannot, how much despair I will be in.

I have also come to understand more how people view the world according to their worldview, which may or may not be realistic. For instance I have visited 2 different TCM doctors to seek relief from the pain. One said it was due to a rogue muscle near my buttock pressing on the nerves, the other said it is because I have taken too many cooling things which caused the blood circulation in my legs to be poor. Both analyzed the situation according to their own view of how the body works, and credit to them, the pain went away, albeit only temporarily. So my conclusion is that perhaps their world view is somewhat on point, but still missing the big picture as my problem has not been fully cured.