Towards a First World Footballing Nation

Today there was a train fault and i had to switch to a bus instead of my usual train transfer. There were many other people trying to get onto the bus, which led me to realize that Singaporean aunties have much footballing potential. Here are some of their strong attributes (rated upon 10)

Aggression 9
Speed 8

Although some aunties are rather fat, they are able to display amazing speed and agility when the bus doors open. Before you know it, they are on the steps even though you had a head start. These skills are not easy to acquire and are honed after many years of training in the Great Singapore Sale

Teamwork 10
Shielding 10

After they have gotten onto the bus ahead of you, they ensure that their auntie friends are able to get onto the same bus with them as well. This is done by calling out to their friends, pulling them onto the bus, or by strategic positioning of their back/bags to block you.

Ball Control 10

If you try to cut the auntie queue, they will give you the "how dare you bully an auntie" death stare, which will make your balls shrink.

Although the bus experience does not assess their passing and shooting skills, these attributes alone shows that our national team has the potential to be top 3 in the region. Go Team Singapore!



Above: An auntie contemplates team tactics. You can tell she has advanced training since she is able to take up two seats.