Cats

I am someone easily bothered by my conscience. Last night, I heard a pitiful mewing and saw a mother cat separated from her child who had fallen into the canal. I was holding my "packet" dinner and was really reluctant to go into the drain when two other guys walked past and one of them went in. This guy had difficulty getting hold of the kitten, so i decided to go in to help. Instead, the kitten got freaked and ran deeper into the canal, where it was too dark and wet to go in after it.

In trying to help, I had instead further separated mother and child. The mother kept calling into the darkness and there was no reply, which was just heart wrenching. Eventually, the kitten called back, but simply refused to come out into the light. I wondered if it got trapped or something. I felt really bad, and eventually Gibson refered me to the SPCA, who just told me to leave some food to lure the cat out.

By then, it was really 11pm and i was tired. My mother didnt want me to go back either, saying that those places were "dirty". So i went to bed, promising myself to go back in the morning. But i hardly slept, and even in my dreams i saw the cat. In one dream, my cousin saved it, in another, it died, cold and alone in the drain.

I went back this morning with a carton of milk. Lo and behold, it was crouched in a corner but the mother was nowhere to be seen. For a while, i thought it was dead, for it simply stared forward with blank open eyes and did not move at all. But as i inched closer, it tried to run. The poor thing was so weak it i caught it easily. However, the absence of the mother presented another problem. It looked like it was dying and yet refused to drink the milk. Plus, i was already late for work.

I managed to get a friend to help me take care of the kitten, but by the time he got there, it was already gone. Hopefully, its mother found it, or some kind soul brought it home.

All these I did, because there was no one else. All these I did, I did out of selfishness, to ease my conscience, so that its blood would not be on my hands; not out of kindness. But what is a conscience? Simply a framework of values to be referred to? Who moulded it that way in the first place? Why do some people listen to it more than others? I suppose i am not smart enough to answer those questions..



Of course, I am also really grateful to my friend who came to help even though he was still asleep when i called. That alone made my day.